• Eddie Gilman

Carts Before Horses


Ever feel like a rat running on a wheel? No matter how fast you make the wheel turn, you realize that you have gone nowhere?

Ever feel like you are driving down the road of life blind? Does life feel like a horrible toothache that time won't heal? Do you ever wonder why or how you got where you are?

I'll be honest - sometimes it's easier to leave our thoughts on the dusty shelf of ignorance - there is little more disheartening than pondering things that you can't account for.

Been there, done that, many many times...

There is a secret that few people know. And ironically, it takes little more than faith the size of a mustard seed (a tiny desire) to discover it.

We are all created individually and uniquely. We all have a specific purpose, destiny, creativity and perception that is our personal power. Life is our canvas; our imagination the paint brush. To know who we are and why we are, is the beginning, of the beginning of wisdom.

Have you ever tried swimming against a strong current? Have you ever tried to jump your way outside of gravity's pull? Have you ever boiled water to make ice cubes? Have you ever gone to a brain surgeon for a toothache? I'm hoping not (you can keep your answers to yourself) - :-P

It's interesting that life can leave us desperate, confused, depressed and hopeless - yet, we fail to recognize the symptoms of the root problem. It's more interesting that we use broken systems to tell us who we are, what to do with our lives, and define what fulfillment is supposed to look like. Culture, society, politics and religion have taught us that the cart comes before the horse.

If you microwave a potato for a few minutes that's OK. If you microwave a potato for an hour straight it's going to explode. We've lost ourselves before we knew what we were supposed to be looking for.

The stories that never cease to collapse my heart include (but not limited too) - the husband and wife who can't remember a word of their vows - living separate lives under the same roof. Bodies lying inches apart with hearts galaxies apart. Or the young man or woman who goes to their 8-5 job everyday - clock in, clock out - life feels more like an excuse to breathe than a reason to dream.

Let's not forget the girl on Instagram, who feels like she is going to die inside if she doesn't get another "like." Consumed by the darkness smothering her heart, telling her that love is not something she is worthy of.

The epidemic in our culture is not the political war. It's not issues of equality or human rights. It's not about who has more or who has less. The disease that is destroying us, is that we don't know who we are. And in the absence of the certainty of an identity, we align ourselves with things we weren't created for. We put the cart before the horse. We pledge the rest of our life to someone we walk away from, because we didn't know who we were, but we thought we knew who was right for us. Or we changed majors three times and have debt equal to the value of our dream home. An episode of The Walking Dead is a page out of our own book.

In a world drowning out the screams of our souls, dying for us to uncover the truth of who we are.

The greatest sin is the cost of not knowing who we are, and living life by putting the cart before the horse.

It's time to start living life from the inside out.


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