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  • Writer's pictureEddie Gilman

What's It Worth

Should love die, or come alive?

Love is the most unique, exciting, unpredictable and often painful journey we will ever embark on. It is built into the very fiber of our existence. It is part of the natural progression through life. It is often an ethereal and spiritual voyage. Other times, a complete whirlwind like roller coaster ride. Nothing about love is general or universal. So, should our decision making be? Is love black and white? Is love a "one shot" wonder?

At some point in our lives, we are bound to fall in love in a special kind of way. There is bound to be a person that opens our heart, in a way no one else could. Someone who redefines everything we thought we knew about what true love was. Someone that we cannot imagine living without. There are those that are so right, yet so wrong. As much as we loathe them, we are drawn to them with vigorous polarity. It's the relationship that everyone says is horribly wrong for you, and you can't help but agree. And yet, it's a person that makes you feel love, electricity and intensity that leaves you feeling like a crack addict. Yet, for whatever reason, we decide to let go. Perhaps for a less compulsive and erratic relationship. Something we would call more "stable". Something less fearful, and more "safe".

Inevitably, we end the relationship - after all, it's the right thing to do. Or is it?

I'm thoroughly convinced, that our breakup culture is far more dysfunctional, than our "staying together" culture. After all, there would be no such thing as the "one who got away", if there wasn't someone who shouldn't have gotten away. But it's not always our choice. How many breakups are truly mutual? And perhaps a greater question; how many relationships deserve another chance?

What if we met the right person, at the wrong time?

What's it worth to reconnect to the right person, at the right time? Even if the first time was not the optimal time? To be certain, I believe there are many toxic relationships that people hang around in for far too long. And many who (continually) return to such relationships. Making your bed in toxic dysfunction should never be confused with true love. There are dozens of reasons some relationships should remain "over". But what about the one's that just needed time? Time for each person to transition to the place of readiness, where the relationship could thrive and flourish? Time for growth, maturity and development? Time for clarity and intentionality?

I don't believe that any unique, divine, or powerful level of love should be tossed away so easily (barring dysfunction). Grace is a free gift, not so commonly embraced in our selfish culture. We often focus so much on our pain, frustration, and disappointments that we undermine our growth. As well as the growth of others. It is the veil we choose to put over our eyes, that blinds us from seeing the potential and possibility of what could be. For time has a wonderful way of shaping us, and affording us the necessary circumstances to become who we need to be, in order to be ready for such incredible love.

Food for thought:

If you ever let go of someone, for whatever the reason(s) (barring abuse and dysfunction) and you find yourself thinking about this person all the time - if deep down, you know there was far more left undiscovered, and far more left to uncover ... if the feelings have grown inside of you, the more you have matured since "said" person has been gone ... maybe the relationship deserves more than it got, the first time around? What's it worth to discover, if a special spark was truly real and truly right? Have you walked away from love prematurely? Did you run in fear? Was the timing just not right? Did you need to figure yourself out? Whatever the cause, is it worth knowing for sure? Anything as powerful, special and unique, as a rare gem of love, deserves finding out.

What's it worth to you? Is there someone you need to reach out to? Or should you forever write it off and let go? Is it too taboo to pursue a past spark? What's it worth?

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