Pain, disappointment and frustration, are all a part of life. These are the experiences in life we try to avoid at all cost. It is easy to misinterpret and misunderstand, the power and purpose these experiences give us. After all, most of us were never taught any of this growing up. And it is for that very purpose (growing up) that these experiences come to exist. We were all created for growth. It is a universal law. We either grow, or we die.

Power comes from understanding, and understanding comes from perspective. Because we were given the gift of choice. We all have the power to choose our choices, beliefs and definitions of them. Those choices shape our perspective. And most of us live from that perspective. This is why a person may feel like loss or failure (in any given area of life) marks "the end". And that person may spiral into hopelessness and depression. Yet, another person goes through the same sort of experience, and spirals into hope, empowerment and growth.

The saying is quite true:

"There is purpose in the pain"

If we can learn to re-train our brain, and view our struggles and troubles through the lens of growth opportunities, we take the highest position of power in life. If we don't flinch in the valleys, because we know it has come to "nudge" us further toward a more "true" version of ourselves - what a powerful position to live from! It is very human to feel disappointment, pain and frustration. But it is another thing entirely, to allow it to taint our perspective, leaving us in a powerless state. Powerlessness is living life desiring one thing, and not allowing ourselves to have it, because of the perspective (limiting belief) we allow to remain, that keeps us from it.

I want to share a recent, real life example:

Anonymous: I really am trying to look forward and focus on the fact that hard times usually mean something greater is ahead. It’s scary, I’m in a new place, new people; both my job and living situations are up in the air. I’ve always been very independent, but sometimes this feels like a bigger mountain than me. It has forced me to put my faith in a greater power, knowing I can’t do it all on my own. I’ve always been a Christian, but never fully lived how I know I should. Maybe this was the plan. I do know I was the best version of myself for this person. I had never fully given myself to anyone else, even when I was married. That was part of the reason that didn’t work out. I wasn’t able to fully sacrifice myself for someone else. But with this guy, I did. I gave it my everything. And even once I moved across country, I sacrificed my happiness trying to make it work with this guy. I guess what I’ve learned - is a lot. How to fully give myself. But, it does terrify me to think about doing that again. To learn how to trust. I pray that I’m here where I am for a reason...

Me: You are right where you need to be. But it is hard to see, because the illusion of a false fantasy slapped you on the hand. Which felt like waking up from a beautiful dream, only to realize it was actually a bad dream. The answer is what you just said. And it is beautiful! The one thing you never did, this experience challenged you to do - be vulnerable and willing to love fearlessly. Entirely! Not hold back or withdraw, and that is still the challenge. Especially now! This is the question life is asking you: "Will you go back to what you were before?" I know this lesson well. And after you go around the mountain once, twice, and three times more - and finally get it - you can't believe the answer was right in front of you all along. It should have been so simple.

Our greatest gifts are directly connected to our greatest growth. And our greatest growth is directly connected to our greatest pain. Pain is the nudge from life saying "You were meant for more!" It would be all too easy to go back to withholding yourself. Because culture and conditioning have taught us that certainty is more valuable than love. Comfort is more valuable than the uncertainty of growth. But worst of all, is a passionless love stuck in the mundane. If you can refuse to ever go back to the way things were before - within yourself - because you are all you can control, then your alignment to true and selfless love, will draw true and selfless love to you.

One of my favorite things Jesus ever said was: "When you know yourselves, then you will be known, and you will understand you are children of the living Father. But if you do not know yourselves, then you live in poverty, and you are the poverty." This experience is a way for you to connect with Him, and your true self, on a level you never have before. Because He knows the fullness of your heart's desires, and absolutely wants to participate with you in making your dreams come true. Because those dreams have parts of His heart injected in them. Because you were created in the image of Him.

This person spent her life withholding true love out of fear. Yet, she always desired true love. Then one day, a man entered her life that nudged her over the line of fear, and challenged her to give love on levels she never had before. But then the contrast happened - the test if you will. The relationship ended unexpectedly, and left her in a position to remain where she was in her growth. Or go back to the old way of living in fear. This is the perspective of growth. If she stays where she is, and chooses to give fearless love, from the entirety of her being, no matter what happens going forward, she will eventually graduate to what she truly desires. And that relationship will not only last, it will pay interest back to her investment.

Our greatest struggles, are the ones we setup against ourselves. It is the war inside of us, no matter what the conditions are outside of us. If we can ingest and wrap our minds around this concept, and understand it, we are one step closer to true fulfillment and empowerment.