• Eddie Gilman

Enemy - or - Ene(ME)


Enemy - or - Ene(ME)

It's been a while since I last posted. But after some time in the valley (life) God has pressed this upon my heart once more. And this post in-particular is about a life changing revelation I had recently. In previous posts I have discussed fear and faith. But let me be the first to admit, typing is one thing - living it is another. What lies ahead in the next few paragraphs is my brutal confession. Fear and faith are not just theological ideas. They are not positive thinking or petty worries. One or the other; it is your identity. And for those of you who may not be interested in reading any further, let me just say: "I am my own worst ene(ME)."

YOU - are your own worst enemy.

There are roughly 365 statements made in the Bible that say "Do not be afraid." And I can tell you from experience, that fear is (in my opinion) the greatest spiritual disease. It is the cancer of our souls. It devours us our whole life! Imprisoning us from the riches, rewards, and glory of God in us. You see the Bible says: "Christ in us the hope of glory." (another great topic The Lord has laid on my heart for a future post). But I can tell you that God's glory is the last thing you feel when fear's poison has paralyzed your soul.

Confession: my life is a timeline of answered prayers, incredible blessings, and speechless moments in God's presence. Only followed by tragedy, loss, and uncontrollable events. Each experience seemingly worse than the one before. Like a heart being flogged, only to heal a day or so before being flogged again. Many of you reading this can probably relate. No matter how we fair "after" the event, you know as well as I do; you are never really the same. Nothing is ever the same. Sure, your faith may grow. Your testimony and resilience may grow. But so does the potency of the poison fear injects into your soul. On the inside; many things are left undone - and fear convinces you there will be more. Fear sets an internal timer in you that says "it's just a matter of time" - until the next bomb in life goes off. And you are left to pick up the pieces (if there are any left). This is a really casual way to say it. Some of you understand (like I do) the truly dark days. The ones that come seeking your very life.

Fear.

My last post was in regards to facing your fears. And when I wrote that, I thought I understood what that meant. But I realize now that my interpretation was a little "off". You see, God has (already) not given us a spirit of fear. So we were not designed to suffer under its rule and control. Just like we were not born for Big Mac's and golden arch french fries. The stuff will eventually kill you (for real yo!) My friends, please hear the depth of the words I type:

The only power fear has over you, is the power you give it!

Fear is nothing more than a mind game that halts the power of God in our life. And shuts us down! Literally! I recently visited a specialized doctor who was able to determine that I had many physical ailments in my body because of a recent and intense spike in my stress levels. That were all created from fear. I won't go into the details; but in a short amount time I was making my body and mind sick. I was helpless and powerless to stop it. Unfortunately, life has a way of creating situations that our out of our control that feed the monster in our minds. I wish I was like the Apostle Paul; that I could say I were content in all circumstances. But he understood what I feel I have received a glimpse of - fear is a veil pulled over your eyes. In light of the freedom trusting in Christ can give us!

"For what a man thinks; therefore he is"

You are what you think! The Bible says that there is life and death in the power of the tongue. How much more powerful is the mind that controls the tongue, that has such power. Let me get back to my point; facing your fear is (first) - getting real with God. I wonder how many times I told God I trusted Him and His heart sank because He knew the brutal truth. I trust Him...with some things. But not all things. We have to get real with God! We have to be brave enough to dig down deep and be honest with the God who sees through us.

"Yes God! There are things im too afraid you would let happen to me!"

"Yes God! I'm too scared to lose this, that, or the love of my life!"

"Yes God! I'm scared you won't be here for me - you won't heal me - you won't give me a spouse or a child!"

"Yes God! I'm afraid you'll keep allowing this cycle of disaster, death, and loss in my life to continue!"

Just fill in your own worst fear(s). We are not being honest with God. And I assure you He is big enough to handle the truth! He is a loving father who cares more about you and your fears - than you could ever imagine! I know that's real cliche and easy to say, but by the time you finish reading this I have a challenge that I feel certain will set you free. But step one is getting real and honest with God. Let me preface this by saying: IT WON'T BE EASY! But it will be FREEING! You might have to do more soul searching than you have wanted to do in a long time. You may have to ball your eyes out. There could be a number of things that happen as you cry out and admit to Him that you are afraid and simply don't trust Him. Do not be ashamed! God wants you to be honest and real! He loves you and as soon as you take this first step, you will be ready for step two. And one step closer to experiencing the freedom that He has wanted to give you all along (I feel like I could write a book on this, but I have to finish).

Step two: Give "it" to God!

For real this time. Let go and let God (we've all heard that one before) But seriously! It's time to let go of all the things you have been holding onto because you were too afraid to trust God to hold them for you. No buts. No what if's. Just hand it to Him and say "it's yours now God." I did this very thing recently, and resolved in my heart as I spoke those words "Lord Jesus, I'd rather have you than any of those things. You can have them now. I am choosing to trust you now." I admit, I prayed that a few times over and over, until I felt myself let go of it on the inside. And I can tell you, God as my witness (and my trusted savior) - He performed a miracle in me. And I have experienced an instantaneous change in my life and thoughts. And I believe even more strength and clarity is to come as I continue seeking out areas in my mind, heart and soul where He is not my trusted source.

As I close this post out, I wanted to share some scriptures that you can pray over yourself for strength. And i'm also going to leave a link to a video I watched that inspired me to dig deep and "let go". As I have spoken of here. Be strong. Be courageous. Be brave. But above all else, give up the things you fear. And trust God to be your "need". - Just. Let. Go!

2 Corinthians 10:5 "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself

up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought

to make it obedient to Christ."

Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by

the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what

God's will is - His good, pleasing, and perfect will."

Psalm 139: 23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my

anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead

me in the way everlasting."

I recommend watching the whole thing, but the part that hit me started at 34:00 minutes in. Extremely powerful if put into use.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CGex2YgCrU


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